Conversations around sex should not be as simple as “throwing a condom on a banana” and discussing how to make it fit. At least that’s what 23-year old Ben Privot preaches.
Privot founded The Consensual Project, to promote consent between partners as a method for making sexual interaction healthier, safer, and flat out uh-mazing.
The idea is an interesting one: Instead of rushing into your next hook-up, allowing hands to fly in every direction and possibly crossing into territory that either you or your partner may not be ready for – start a dialogue. Ask before attempting to take off your partner’s shirt or lunging forward for a kiss, and make sure you’re clear on what each of you consider hot or not.
At first, the idea behind Consensual Project may seem unnatural. Stopping to talk about sex and sexuality in the midst of a hookup isn’t something we always feel comfortable doing. But Privot doesn’t think it should be so awkward. In fact, he thinks it could make the experience even better.
“You can’t get someone’s number without asking,” he says. “So, I just can’t imagine being turned off when the person you’re already with agrees to mutually enjoy what you’re both down for … hookups then become everything you want them to be: sexier, more accountable, and safe.”
Privot’s not the only one who thinks so. Organizations like Men Can Stop Rape teach consent as a method for curbing crises that can arise from a lack of communication between partners. Learn more and support their efforts.
Being on the same page with the person you’re with (whether it be for one night, or a lifetime) is not only key to your happiness and fulfillment, but theirs as well. So, try out some tips from Privot’s playbook next time you’re in the hot spot. And instead of just going for the smooch, ask “Are you attached to your Chapstick, or can I kiss it off?” Hot.